Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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