i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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