I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
