There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
