Jerry, you need to find god
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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