I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
