Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
