you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
