I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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