You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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