I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
