My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I smell like Dick and happiness
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
