i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
