Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
