TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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