I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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