He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize