Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
