Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He shit in the fireplace
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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