Can i not drive my cunt home
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
