imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
