We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
