Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
