hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
