I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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