so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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