I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
