Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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