And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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