If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
