East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
