So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
