I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
