Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
