Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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