I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
