We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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