i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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