i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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