Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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