is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
