It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize