McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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