3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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