genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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