No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
