If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
