Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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