ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
