Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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