who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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