i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
