Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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