i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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