Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize