thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
