i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize