I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
