I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
