butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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