I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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