You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
