he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
