Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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