3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
