Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
